Fantasy Horse Racing: The Ultimate Showdown

“Who are you anyhow?” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Michel Krämer

Here at The Geek Lyfe we love pondering the what ifs and escaping to fantasy worlds where the rules of reality hold no weight. Whether that means indulging in a bit of cosplay and fighting fictional crime bosses in our own homes or arguing over which interstellar spacecraft, the Millennium Falcon or the Starship Enterprise, would win in a death match, a bit of escapism is always fun.

However, once you’ve gone over the same debates time and time again, things can get a little boring. So, in this article, we thought we’d try something a little different. Instead of focusing on some of the better-known comic characters, we’ve set up a fictional horse race. Why? Well since it’s the season for horse racing it seemed like a good idea to jump on the bandwagon. On top of that, horses often have some cool names that wouldn’t look out of place in a comic or sci-fi adventure.

For example, if you were to go online and take a gander through the list of runners at a famous race like the Champion Hurdle at Cheltenham, you’d find some truly creative monikers. Indeed, according to the tips page at odds comparison site Oddschecker, Moon Racer was one of the surprise packages leading up to the race. Although the horse came up short in the race, its name alone stood out as did Sceau Royal, Wicklow Brave and Cyrus Darius, all of which could have been comic heroes.

The Great Comic Horse Showdown

via GIPHY

Naturally, where reality leads, fiction often follows and it seems as though the leading comic creators have taken an ounce of inspiration from this naming trend apparent in horse racing. Although the following list of comic horses couldn’t compete with the real runners and riders at Cheltenham, they certainly have some cool names and even cooler attributes.

So, with this mind, we’ve lined up some of the best horses from Marvel’s alternative worlds in an effort to see which one would cross the finish line first.

Eagle

When Arrowhead lost his horse and was forced to slay a lion and save a new horse from certain death, the four-legged steed did his best to repay the favour. After a gang baying for Arrowhead’s blood caught up with him, Eagle trampled them to death before the pair rode off at lightning speed.

In a race to the finish, Eagle clearly has the speed (it can run as fast as lightning), but its defining attribute in this showdown could be its strength. Horse races, especially over jumps, are notoriously rough affairs with runners and riders jostling for position. Eagle obviously has the strength advantage given his previous exploits, so he could be a good pick in this one.

Spyder-Horse

Aside from having one of the cooler names, Spyder-Horse is the four-legged friend of Spyder-Knight the arachnid hero from the Web-Warriors’ multiversal mission. This means the horse has got a kick-ass jockey steering him towards victory.

Naturally, the fact he has the third incarnation of the Spider-Armour means he’s got a few tricks up his sleeve to swing things in his favour. A quick shot of his spider web could easily pull him over the line a nose ahead of his rivals. Failing that, he could easily jump from horse to horse, dismount his opponents by using his spider skills and win the race by default.

Banshee

You know a horse means business when it’s called Banshee and this wild stallion is one that few runners will want to mess with. When Carter Slade (who later became the Phantom Rider) tamed this wild beast, he imbued it with immortal powers.

As you’d expect, a horse that’s both wilder than a wolf and virtually indestructible would be a powerhouse on the track. Of course, if he can’t assert his authority early, he might lose out in the speed stakes to the likes of Eagle. However, if it turns into a dogfight, your money should be on Banshee to come out on top.

Dreamstalker

Credit: Joseph Goldendragon Miller‎ via Facebook

Despite being 5 ft 2 inches, Dreamstalker is Nightmare’s steed and that means it brings a supernatural storm with it. Firstly, if Dreamstalker and Nightmare can work their psychological powers and get into their opponent’s heads, they could win the race before it’s even started.

However, even if we ignore this, the horse itself is as durable as they come. According to the Marvel Database, Dreamstalker has a durability rating of 7 which, in simple terms, means it can withstand a lot of punishment. When the hooves start flying and the tough get going, Dreamstalker’s strength is what could make the difference.

As is the case in the real world, picking a winner isn’t easy. Each horse we’ve listed has its own strengths, but the only way we’ll know which one is best is to have a fantasy race. Unfortunately, we don’t have the power to make it happen. However, we do hope we’ve planted a few seeds that you can take, nurture and watch blossom into a healthy debate.

Know of any other horses that should have been on the list? Comment below!

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