Beyond the Veil: True Thoughts of Cosplayers and Their Partners

Beyond the Veil:True Thoughts of Cosplayers and Their Partners

It is probably obvious to our readers that a lot of us here at The Geek Lyfe love the world of cosplay and everything it touches from the business it generates for photographers/prop makers/conventions to promoting the education of skills like sewing, modeling, and make up. Even the cosplay community is incredible in so many ways as they constantly are looking to support each other whether it is physically by helping craft a costume or online by promoting who/what they love.

However, it is my firm belief that one of the most prominent roles in the cosplay community that is often looked over the most are the partners or significant others of said cosplayers. Whether they be male or female, they have seen their partner at their highest and their lowest. When the convention lights shut off, the cameras power down, and the costumes get removed for the night it is only the significant others who really see them for better or worse.

I thought it would be a great idea to highlight these convention roadies who work just as hard, if not harder to help their partner succeed in their cosplay goals! I have gathered a number of cosplay couples and asked each of them five questions ranging from fun and uplifting to somewhat serious questions. Some of the partners even chose to not respond because they were just a bit too personal.

I thought their responses were all fantastic and I hope you enjoy.

Heartless Aquarius & Skyler

-Heartless Aquarius-

In what ways does your partner help you with cosplay? Physically by helping make the costume or more emotional with encouragement? Could you provide a prime example of how they help?

HA: My partner has helped me on so many ways. He has helped me make my cosplays and decide on materials. Also, during conventions, he is the biggest help by helping my carry my things while I’m in my elaborate outfits and he’ll help me move around if my costume makes me immobile, which happens a lot.

Could you give an example of a situation that could not be easily resolved without the help of your partner?

HA: One example I can think of is whenever I’m working on a cosplay. I tend to doubt myself and my work. I’ll think it looks bad, need to start over, or just give up completely. Skyler is a brutally honest person and he has always urged me to finish my costumes and says they are beautiful the way they are. With his honesty, I would not have been able to complete certain cosplays or even wear some out in public.

How has cosplay affected your relationship? Would you say it has strengthened your bond, complicated things, or does it remain the same as before you become a cosplayer?

We met through cosplay. If we didn’t have cosplay, then we wouldn’t have a relationship to begin with. Also, cosplaying strengthens our relationship further by allowing us to be creative together and we get to spend some weekends at conventions together.

 What was one of your lowest moments(that you are willing to share) that you feel no one or not many people see and how your partner helped you through that difficult time?

HA: When I’m working on college stuff and being a responsible adult, I tend to fall into states of depression. I stress out about my grades and my future to the point where I become a complete shut in. As my course work gets harder, I fall into this mental state more often. Skyler is one of the very VERY few people who see me like this and he will always comfort me and get me through it. I don’t know where I would be mentally if he wasn’t there to calm me down.

If you could take a single moment, be completely honest, and tell your partner how much you truly appreciate them, what would you say?

HA: Sweetie, I love you. I appreciate having your non-stop support over the years and I can’t wait to spend the future with you as my partner and my best friend. You’ve done so much for me and I will always be thankful that I met you and spent the over 3 years with you. Thank you for being with me.

-Skyler-

What would you say the hardest aspect of being in a relationship with someone who cosplays frequently is?

S: The same struggles that comes with cosplaying not having enough time to spend with each other. Sometimes we need time apart just so that someone can work on costume for a group or a masquerade. The stress of convention never bothered me personally but I feel like for my partner definitely.

What is one of your favorite memories of you and your partner in the realm of cosplay? (Convention? Crafting the costume? Brainstorming? Post convention? Photoshoot?)

S: Some of my favortie memories with them is during conventions regardless of what happens, coming up with cosplays, being able to spend time with them are things that I can chairish.

If given the chance, would you want to have you and your partner leave the cosplay scene for a time or do you love it and how it continues?

S: There is no reason I could see myself wanting my partner to stop doing cosplay. With age and experience more doors open for us and always give us things to do.

What moment in your relationship have you been the most proud of your partner in regards to their cosplay career? Was it a behind the scenes moment that no one saw or something in the public eye?

S: The biggest thing is my partner winning second at phoenix comic con, something to be proud of for sure.

If you could take a single moment, be completely honest, and tell your partner how much you truly appreciate them, what would you say?

S: Nothing I haven’t already told them everyday. 🙂

Natalie Arvizu Cosplay and Shane

-Natalie Arvizu-

In what ways does your partner help you with cosplay? Physically by helping make the costume or more emotional with encouragement? Could you provide a prime example of how they help?
 
NA: Shane helps me with cosplay in so many different ways. Shane helps me make decisions, like when I can’t decide if I like how something may be looking during the construction of the costume. He is very supportive and helps me stay on track. I tend to get stressed or upset over whatever costume I’m working on and he helps me get through whatever it is to continue working.

Could you give an example of a situation that could not be easily resolved without the help of your partner?

NA: I usually need help getting into a lot of my costumes, whether it’s safety pinning me or lacing me into something I wouldn’t be able to even wear a majority of my cosplays without him.


How has cosplay affected your relationship? Would you say it has strengthened your bond, complicated things, or does it remain the same as before you become a cosplayer?

NA: I’d say it’s hasn’t really changed much other than just us being even dorkier and weirder hahah


What was one of your lowest moments(that you are willing to share) that you feel no one or not many people see and how your partner helped you through that difficult time?

NA: I feel like there’s never been a specific time or incident where I consider it my lowest moment or anything like that.

I get discouraged a lot when it comes to any of this honestly. Whether it’s I feel my costume isn’t good enough or maybe I had a bad time/experience at a convention or constantly being mistaken/compared to other people rather than just getting to be myself, it can all add up and I just want to call it quits. Shane is always there to help me get through it all though.

If you could take a single moment, be completely honest, and tell your partner how much you truly appreciate them, what would you say?

NA: I seriously wouldn’t be doing anything of this or be who I am today without him.

-Shane-

What would you say the hardest aspect of being in a relationship with someone who cosplays frequently is?

S: I feel like they always have a plan for what they’re going to cosplay, but no matter what they won’t start making the cosplay until 2 weeks (or less) before the event. This always leads to them being stressed out for no reason and they never learn…

What is one of your favorite memories of you and your partner in the realm of cosplay? (Convention? Crafting the costume? Brainstorming? Post convention? Photoshoot?)

S: I guess I don’t really have one specific memory that I can think of, but her being involved with cosplay has introduced us to so many people that we wouldn’t otherwise have met. Being able to meet new people has probably been the best perk.

If given the chance, would you want to have you and your partner leave the cosplay scene for a time or do you love it and how it continues?

S: The cosplay scene has never really been inconvenient to be involved with, it’s a hobby. If it was something that we felt was becoming less fun or we were too busy then possibly, but you always have time for cosplay if you really want to.

What moment in your relationship have you been the most proud of your partner in regards to their cosplay career? Was it a behind the scenes moment that no one saw or something in the public eye?

S: I think this falls back onto meeting new people. If Natalie hadn’t stepped forward and said something to some people, we would have never made friends with some great cosplayers who have already made a name for themselves. We’ve met so many cool people that cosplay for a living and wouldn’t have had the opportunity if Natalie hadn’t made the effort to talk to them. Sometimes just talking to people for the first time is the hardest part, you may get starstruck or be afraid of their response etc. But just about every time it has been well worth it.

If you could take a single moment, be completely honest, and tell your partner how much you truly appreciate them, what would you say?

S: I would hope Natalie is well aware of how much I appreciate her, I try to tell her as often as I can! Natalie is the only person that can get the the special level of weird that I am. She’s super special to me, and irreplaceable. Even if she does procrastinate and then I have to deal with her cosplay stress.

Schrei 205 & Taylor

-Schrei205-

In what ways does your partner help you with cosplay? Physically by helping make the costume or more emotional with encouragement? Could you provide a prime example of how they help?

He supports me in a lot of aspects of cosplay. He helps me by giving honest feedback during my crafting process, and most of my costumes, I can’t even put on without his help! He’s become an expert at helping me strap on leg armor or attach my big crazy WoW shoulders. At conventions, he’s basically my caretaker. In the Blizzcon community, we refer to them as “handlers” because that’s really what they are. We are almost useless on our own without our handlers. He makes sure I have water, my costume is in place and looks correct, and helps me put on and take off parts of the costume when I need to rest. Our first Blizzcon together, I was in my warrior, and he ended up carrying my helmet AND my axe for me by the end. I really could not have done it without him.

Could you give an example of a situation that could not be easily resolved without the help of your partner?

 Any time I wear my warrior costume, I absolutely need him. I can’t even put my gloves on properly without him! Throughout the day, he helps me put on and take off my helmet, carry my axe, and adjust my shoulder armor. This is all in addition to his normal convention tasks of feeding me and making sure I have water. I’m totally dependent on him for this costume, but he makes me feel confident enough to handle it.

How has cosplay affected your relationship? Would you say it has strengthened your bond, complicated things, or does it remain the same as before you become a cosplayer?

Cosplay has definitely put some strain on our relationship at times, but I was already a cosplayer when I met him. He had never even been to a convention before I took him to Saboten Con, so it was all very new to him. He and I are both generally introverts, but I have an easier time stepping outside of that through cosplay. He has been really great about supporting me and attending conventions with me even if it’s not something he’d ever do on his own. It has been complicated occasionally, but we talk about it and work through it.

What was one of your lowest moments(that you are willing to share) that you feel no one or not many people see and how your partner helped you through that difficult time?

Last year when I was working on Jandice Barov for Blizzcon 2016, I was also enrolled in classes and working. Almost every minute of my free time was split between school and cosplay. It was hard to find “us” time, and the worst day was Wednesday before we left for Blizzcon. He left for work in the morning and I sat down to my crafting table to work on my staff. I was so focused and trying so hard to finish it that I even almost forgot to eat. By the time he came home, I was a mess. I hated the way it was looking, and was absolutely distraught and sleep deprived. He comforted me and helped me be okay with the decision to abandon the staff and just finish the rest of the costume. It took a few hours of comforting, but he put me back together after I fell completely apart. It was the first time I ever had to deal with the fact that I could not finish a key part of the costume that I already had so many hours into, and I felt so awful, but he made it all okay.


If you could take a single moment, be completely honest, and tell your partner how much you truly appreciate them, what would you say?

 I literally could not do it without him. He always amazes me with his love and kindness. He is the most wonderful and supportive person I have ever known, and he makes me feel so confident and ready to take on anything.

Courtney Leigh & Alex Davis

-Courtney Leigh-

In what ways does your partner help you with cosplay? Physically by helping make the costume or more emotional with encouragement? Could you provide a prime example of how they help?

CL: Alex helps in tons of ways! When I am working on a costume he encourages me to finish even when I am stressing about work. When I am IN costume and need assistance he is my handler. When I wore my Draenei it was a very physically draining costume to wear. It takes balance and the costume itself is HOT and I ended up getting a mild heat stroke twice when wearing it to cons. He is always there to get me out of crowds of photographers if I really feel like I’m going to pass out and don’t want to be rude or he is there to carry my props if I need to sit down and drink some water for a while. Aside from all that, he is also a wonderful photographer and is always there to do photoshoots.

Could you give an example of a situation that could not be easily resolved without the help of your partner?

CL: A LOT OF SITUATIONS. Despite being at a lot of conventions with a lot of people, I am an extremely nervous person in social situations. Alex is MUCH better at talking to people and since we’ve started dating we call him my PR rep 😛 He even answered my etsy messages for a while to relieve some of the stress I was getting during a very busy season. When I CAN’T talk to people and am just feeling socially drained, he is the one that fixes everything because for some reason he is a wizard when it comes to talking to people. He comes off being much more friendly than I do while I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I am scary…I AM SORRY I HAVE RBF!! I can’t help it. It’s just my face when I’m relaxed…or concentrated…or distracted…or tired…or hungry…or…I’M SORRY.

How has cosplay affected your relationship? Would you say it has strengthened your bond, complicated things, or does it remain the same as before you become a cosplayer?

CL: Alex and I met because of cosplay in 2013. I was hosting a Resident Evil photoshoot and he got invited by a friend. From there things just evolved and we bonded through our love for the geek culture and particularly Resident Evil. Cosplay is a fulltime job and hobby for me and for him it is becoming a larger part of his professional and personal life every year, so we definitely bond over it. It strengthens us to know that we share the same passions. We never have to argue about what to do for fun. He gets excited over my new costumes and I get equally excited over his photos. There’s a back-and-forth support there that keeps going and going.

What was one of your lowest moments (that you are willing to share) that you feel no one or not many people see and how your partner helped you through that difficult time?

CL: Because I own my own business, income is always unpredictable. I could be swimming in commissions one month and the next barely get any. In the slow periods I get down on myself A LOT. I get depressed and drown in self-doubt for weeks at a time stressing about whether or not I can keep going with my business. If it’s time to move on. How I’m going to contribute to bills, etc. I’ve put TONS of work into my business and sometimes it’s incredibly difficult to manage and the fluctuations in money earned can put a lot of stress on me or anyone running their own business. It’s a kind of stress that is hard to explain to anyone who is guaranteed a paycheck every week. It isn’t just stress about money, it’s stress over your own self-worth. Alex is ALWAYS there to tell me that things will turn around and has even forbidden me from applying for jobs when I’m especially stressed about money. He lifts me up in times where I feel like a complete failure and he works his ass off every day to try and keep me as stress free as possible so I can keep working for myself. I hope we can do the same for him so that he can work more on his own business as well!! It’s my biggest hope this year.

If you could take a single moment, be completely honest, and tell your partner how much you truly appreciate them, what would you say?

CL: Oppa!!! I couldn’t have gotten through 2016 without you. There were a lot of tears. A lot of life-changing events and emotional hardships that we endured together. The universe throw trial after trial our way for twelve whole months and every time we got thrown in the mud we helped each other back up. I don’t know how, but we did and we made it to 2017. Every year has its obstacles, but 2016 is where we were really tested and we stuck together. When one person fell down, the other was there to help them up and that’s how our relationship has been every day. I love you so, so much and so much of who I am now is thanks to you and your support.

-Alex Davis-

What would you say the hardest aspect of being in a relationship with someone who cosplays frequently is?

AD: I would have to say time management. We seem to always be at one con to another or event after event trying to keep up with work and cosplay makes it hard to have personal time with each other. But we do make it work and it’s worth it.

What is one of your favorite memories of you and your partner in the realm of cosplay? (Convention? Crafting the costume? Brainstorming? Post convention? Photoshoot?)

AD: Oh wow, this is a hard one because I love it all. If we are talking about the one thing I’ll never forget, it’s gotta be the first photo shoot I ever did with her. She had just finished a new costume and I was the only one around so she tossed me her sisters camera and said “take pictures of me” now at the time I had never touched a camera before but she just wanted me to take snap shot in auto mode. Well after that I was OBSESSED with that camera and obsessed with taking better and better photos. Well we all know where that leads me now. 😉

If given the chance, would you want to have you and your partner leave the cosplay scene for a time or do you love it and how it continues?

AD: I personally love it! I love the atmosphere I love the people I get to work with and meet. I love love love the after con gorge meals with friends we barely see! Yum.

What moment in your relationship have you been the most proud of your partner in regards to their cosplay career?

AD: Was it a behind the scenes moment that no one saw or something in the public eye? Has to be “public eye” when Courtney and I first started dating I think she had around 600 followers on her page and I had the amazing opportunity to watch her go up and up and up and up. Her business exploded and I had the very unique pleasure of watching her be a beautiful, smart and fierce business woman which is um …Sexy as hell ;P

If you could take a single moment, be completely honest, and tell your partner how much you truly appreciate them, what would you say?

AD: I love you Courtney, with out you I wouldn’t be here today I would have never touched a camera or got into the cosplay scene. As you know I was in a dark place with alot of problems when you dragged me into this world with you and I can never ever repay you. I love you and I will be yours forever.

Shallon Enlow & Mauro

-Shallon-

In what ways does your partner help you with cosplay? Physically by helping make the costume or more emotional with encouragement? Could you provide a prime example of how they help?

SE: Mauro provides encouragement when i am making cosplay. It’s nice because it makes me want to do more. He also will help by making sure i have something to eat or drink. Sometimes he’ll even take me away from my sewing cave to go out.

Could you give an example of a situation that could not be easily resolved without the help of your partner?

SE: We met while i was in cosplay and so it has become a normal thing for us. It has made us closer in the sense that he likes to make sure i’m not being harassed while in cosplay.

What was one of your lowest moments (that you are willing to share) that you feel no one or not many people see and how your partner helped you through that difficult time?

SE: My lowest moment with Mauro so far was when my father passed. I was rude sometimes and didn’t want to even eat. He never once got mad. He would sit, hold me, and tell me positive things. I’ll never forget that.

If you could take a single moment, be completely honest, and tell your partner how much you truly appreciate them, what would you say?

SE: I love you more than chilaquiles my moose. Haha! No, i would tell him how great he is and all the awesome things he has done for me and in this relationship.

-Mauro-

What would you say the hardest aspect of being in a relationship with someone who cosplays frequently is?

M: I don’t think there’s anything that is necessarily hard about it, but I will say it can get annoying when you’re trying to walk around a convention and you have to wait for everyone who wants a picture with or of her. Don’t even get me started on all the paints, brushes and fabric everywhere lol!

What is one of your favorite memories of you and your partner in the realm of cosplay? (Convention? Crafting the costume? Brainstorming? Post convention? Photoshoot?)

M: One of our favorite moments in the realm of cosplay will probably have to be when I first met Shallon at Saboten,while walking around taking pictures for The Geek Lyfe I walked into a girl cosplaying as Kim Possible. I asked if she was interested in a photo shoot and it started out like any other of shoot with any cosplayer but it soon blossomed into a great friendship, and with one similar interest to the other we both developed feelings for each other.

If given the chance, would you want to have you and your partner leave the cosplay scene for a time or do you love it and how it continues?

M: No I don’t think we would want to stop, in short its too much fun. Meeting new people making new friends and just spending time with the ones we’ve made. We’ve become very comfortable with lifestyle it has giving us and were grateful for that.

What moment in your relationship have you been the most proud of your partner in regards to their cosplay career? Was it a behind the scenes moment that no one saw or something in the public eye?

M: One of the moments that showed me the shear commitment and dedication that she had towards her cosplay was when she was preparing for Phoenix Comicon, and even with her super busy schedule at work she would come home every night and work on her cosplay with only a few hours of sleep every night even till the day of the con. But never had I seen that type of commitment myself and that itself made me feel so proud of her knowing that she would sacrifice so much for something she truly loved.

If you could take a single moment, be completely honest, and tell your partner how much you truly appreciate them, what would you say?

M: I tell her words of inspiration and of appreciation every day, but if could take a single moment I would tell her how much I appreciate to have someone as special like her in my life and how much she has helped me grow as person since I have met her. If it wasn’t for her, I have no honest idea on how my life would be right now but I know that my life is so much better with her by my side.

A huge shout out to all of these wonderful folks for taking the time to answer a few of our questions! I hope you enjoyed and be sure to check out their social media pages which I linked in their titles! Have any thoughts on this or did you wanna comment on how amazing your partner is? Post in the comments below!